Half way Home

 

Home, a place where you can sit out, relax, reminiscent, talk with your own self, a place where you can find solace and tranquility, a place surrounded by your loved ones-always there to guide you, mold you, scold you-loved ones who will always stand out for you, no matter what, loved ones who can shift gears from being a caring parent to a budding friend!

Last time when I left home, I was heartsick. The thought of not coming back here, the thought of spending the coming behemoth 2 months without seeing my loved ones, the very thought of things to never remain as they were, was spine-chilling. How I wished to finish off things quickly and head back home. Packing back my stuff seemed arid. I cursed myself and how, for making the reservations, that I so wanted not to go back. The thought of leaving behind something so beautiful, so special, brought shivers down my spine, especially when you know it won't be the same again. Ever! Its during those few final minutes, when you realize the importance and the gravity of the things that are so close to your heart, that you think your heart will sink. Its during that times, when you wish you had few more minutes, just to clench that thing tightly and never let go! Its during that time, when you pray stealthily and demand for some extra time and a few more. But the harsh reality is that it never happens.

You feel that trauma, that fire, burning inside you, biting you for quite a few days or weeks. The feeling of home-sickness takes a toll and everything seems dull. It took me quite a few days, as a matter of fact, few weeks to get out of that feeling, until everything went back to normal, until spending time with friends, back at hostel, was fun. Friends, the ones who are sarcastic, the ones who can be a real pain in the ass, the ones who are always there for your cover and guide you during the hard times, the ones who we enjoy being with, also constitute an important part of life. Friends, a home away from home. I have this awesome family back here, which I know, will stand by my side, no matter what!

The moment has finally arrived,its in the near vicinity. Its the time to head back home, to head back to your loved ones, to your bunch of crazy friends, back home, who also have been counting days, just like you, who are busy preparing crazy New year plans and to-do lists with you, From the time you keep your first step in your hometown, till you are fully satiated with the love and joy of togetherness. But something deep down is surfacing now and its bothering. I know how I've waited for these two long months to pass. But as the end is approaching, I feel like not going. Perhaps, I want to stay here, with my friends, enjoy life as it passes by, to the fullest. Perhaps, its the love and the never ending affection that is holding me back. Perhaps, the good times that we all have encountered together and laughing hard at the memories that followed, till our stomachs' hurt. Perhaps, its the home-bound feeling that has settled deep down and is not that strong now.

Perhaps, I have the pleasure of having two families, so closely knit to my heart that I just cant afford to leave one behind.!

NIGHT

The first word that comes to our mind when someone calls out night is ‘Dark’. Perceptions change from people to people, some consider it mystical, while some consider it merely a time to relax and sleep. And here I am writing this piece with nothing in mind, sitting on the rooftop, exploring various unseen, perhaps not, features of ’Night’.

Actually when there is nothing in your mind, you start to see and witness things differently, and that is perhaps the best part of a blank mind. There is something in this night that charms, attracts me. May it be its silent nature, its dark aura or its mystic connection which probably scares the shit out of me?

Beneath the shining stars, in the pale moonlight, enjoying the cool breeze, I am standing in one corner and thinking,” What should I write which is not written about ‘Night’?” In this cool breeze, I hear mild melodies of Wind-chimes and I witness tress swaying to and fro as if they are dancing to the tunes. Suddenly my focus shifts from ongoing thought to some Canines barking foolishly on an endless road. Suddenly, God knows from where, I think of the endless road and somehow it seems identical to my future. After all, my future is also a journey of dreams, desires which need to be fulfilled, where there are no companions, where I have to cross this ‘Endless’ road all by myself. As soon as I recall companions and night, all together at the same time, what I recall is the series of carefree night-outs, where roaming after midnight was like taking a tour of an isolated, vacant city, where, the feeling of fresh gush of wind through my hair was perhaps the best memory, where, I can savor the fun even with my eyes closed.

Suddenly my thoughts are interrupted by mild rains, and I throw a glance at my surroundings, noticing its dawn already and still I am so much engrossed in my thoughts. Leaving my thoughts aside, I enjoy the mild rain with its cologne i.e. the smell of fresh clay.

 Perhaps the ‘Night’ is over and so is my blog!