Maa

I thought this would be simple, after all I know my mother so well. But, when I actually sat down to write this blog, I realized how wrong I was! I thought I would, very efficiently and easily, pen down my feelings about you. I thought I could express and capture all the emotions, the events and its underlying essence, all in words, whenever I sat down to write about you. But how wrong I was! Today is, perhaps, the apt occasion to express my love and gratitude and acknowledge all the sacrifices that you’ve done, the hardships that you’ve faced and the things which only and only you could’ve done and no one else. Today is your day, maa!

You’ve always been an independent woman, a woman of stature and high spirit. In your quest for independence, you have in turn made me independent! I, very distinctively, remember how you managed between home and office; and even while working and away from home, I remember how selectively you would place things, so that I would never have to be dependent on you. I owe my independent spirit and self – sustainability to you, maa! I also remember, throwing silly tantrums whenever I wanted anything or whenever I needed things done and how you, without even breaking a sweat, used to pacify and control me. I owe my sensibility to you, maa! I also remember how you used sit with me, amidst your busy schedule and share your experiences; which’ve always helped me distinguish between the good and the bad. I owe my rationale to you, maa!

For my Graduation and Post – Graduation, I remember staying away from you. It is all those years that’ve made me realize, how important a mother is to her child. It is all the hardships that I’ve faced, while staying away from you, that’ve made me realize, how imperfect a child’s life is, without his mother. It is the count of lost clothes and things, which has made me realize, no one is better than you, maa; and no one will ever be!

Whether my demands or your life lessons, you’ve handled everything graciously and always with a smile. I don’t know how my life would’ve turned out, if it wasn’t for you. I wish to make you proud, the same way as I am; after inheriting you as a mother, my mother!

A proud mumma’s boy! Always.

India's Daughter in Shackles!

There are two types of people in this world. Men and Women. Historically, men were associated with strength, courage, independence and leadership qualities, whereas, women were much more subtle, gentle and dependent type. But, the times are changing now and that too real fast.

The world is evolving. It is no more a fairyland or a happy land, where things run smoothly and are in order. There is this universal problem that almost every country is facing today, RAPE! Sexual assault, Molestation, Sexual abuse are the common terms with which this problem is addressed today. Every week we come across one such incident, where the girl is brutally assaulted, badly injured, raped and in some cases, almost beaten down to death!

I am a brother who looks after his sister, a friend who cares for his female friends, a son who would burn down the world for his mother, a grandson who loves his grandma more than anyone else, I would someday, be a husband who would protect his wife, I would someday, luckily be a father to the most cutest daughter in the world! The roles that we, men, play might be different, but ultimately, the main goal that these roles fulfill is looking out and protecting women and by protecting, I do not mean restricting them to move out of the house after 7 P.M. or restricting them from wearing those fashionably trendy clothes!

There are these bunch of illiterate, orthodox, conservative people, who think that women need to be in those four walls, deprived of their basic freedom! Moreover they are the same people, who think that clothes provoke Rape! I mean, come on, we are talking about people here, who would readily rape any female animal just because they don’t have any clothes on! We are talking about people here with brutal animal instincts and who are high on their sexual drive that if one fine day, their sisters or daughters come up with a one piece/gown, they would themselves rape them! Talking about the time restriction, we live in a world of globalization and privatization, where a large chunk of people, work in the night shift. So coercing women to stay inside after 7 P.M. is pure nonsense. Women have, just as we men have, got an undeniable right to be independent and enjoy life to the fullest! I mean you can always make sure that, women are with a safe and trusted company, during those late hours, but restricting and confining them in those four walls, taking away their freedom, is not The Solution!

The thought of confining my own daughter or sister is scary, crazy and absurd! It reflects our submissive attitude which in turn, will strengthen the inhuman motives of those rapists and eve teasers. Instead, let’s fight back. Fight back for the people we love, for the people we care, for the independent, fight back against submissive behavior, against orthodox attitude, against dependence.

Let’s fight back for Women. Let's inculcate a respectful attitude, which is just and morally strong, to respect women and see them as equals!

People are of two types. One, who supports and celebrates the independence of a Woman and would fight back for a woman as a whole and, second, a bunch of cowards, who would compromise on the independence and strong will of a woman!

It’s up to you to decide, which side are you on!

A Mile in those Bridal Shoes!

 

Another fine morning. Another great day. The Sun is out, spreading mild warmth and radiance all over, its shine so impeccable that even the dew drops on those nascent flowers imitate it. Soaking in, these positive vibes, I move over to check, what's happening around the world, with my friends, on Facebook. Nothing new! A friend enjoying snow, abroad, our PM Modi yet again managing to mesmerize the crowd, a friend getting married, is among a few prominent posts I see, until its too late for my class. But while getting ready for the class, while commuting to the college, while ongoing lectures, while taking lunch, I notice, a thought, perhaps a fragment, has managed to follow me all through this while. Its about me, about you and about all the Indian men, their so called manliness and most importantly, about our future/current brides.

Almost everyday we find out, that our friend or relative is tying the knot. But the more prominent thought that strikes the mind, is "Are we really ready for marriage, are we worthy for our brides, are we ready to commit fully and wholeheartedly to our better halves?"

Lets consider a bride's perspective for proper dissection of the above questions raised. She has dreamed of this day since her childhood. A day which will be her greatest and happiest day. She has all the plans ready for this glorious day. A day where she will not be less than a Princess, soon to elope with her Knight in Shining Armour! She would happily leave her home, PERMANENTLY, her identity, her near and dear ones just for him.(I have stayed in hostel for many years, so I know how it is like to leave home even for few months!)

But the real question is, are you(grooms) ready for marriage? A girl, leaving everything, her home, her parents, even her last name, behind, coming in and settling with you, is a great deed. It speaks volumes of her generosity and adjusting nature. Now, you are the only one, she will look upto, whenever she needs anything. Your family, your home, your friends and relatives are all new for her. She will take time to blend in. Give her that. So every time she makes oval rotis, or a little too bitter coffee, don't complain, instead adjust with her just like she is adjusting with you! Considering, how modern we call ourselves, respect her opinion pertaining to carry on with her job, because just as you feel the sense of independence and non-reliance on others, she might want to feel the same way and maybe would be planning to take that extra burden off your shoulders. Whenever there are little issues raised, take her stand, because you are the only one she relies on, wholly and fully. There will be cases where she might be wrong too, so instead of pouncing on her and ringing your victory bells, try and make her understand the points she missed out on.

Commitment is not just physical, but committing to stand with her, by her side in all her ups and downs, committing to be there when she needs it the most, committing to respect her opinion and her values, committing to listen her out whenever she wants you to, committing to help her with her flaws and weaknesses and help her overcoming it, committing to not change her and adjust to her and love her just the way she is, committing to not sulk over petty things and celebrate each and every inch of her, committing to be of a broader perspective and support her for all her future endeavors, committing to give her a hug whenever she feels down, committing to love her and  be her's, come what may!

Love is a beautiful thing. Don't lose it, revolving around petty issues and irrelevant stuff.  Hold her hand and let go off yourself. Cherish it with her and in the process cherish her too!

Half way Home

 

Home, a place where you can sit out, relax, reminiscent, talk with your own self, a place where you can find solace and tranquility, a place surrounded by your loved ones-always there to guide you, mold you, scold you-loved ones who will always stand out for you, no matter what, loved ones who can shift gears from being a caring parent to a budding friend!

Last time when I left home, I was heartsick. The thought of not coming back here, the thought of spending the coming behemoth 2 months without seeing my loved ones, the very thought of things to never remain as they were, was spine-chilling. How I wished to finish off things quickly and head back home. Packing back my stuff seemed arid. I cursed myself and how, for making the reservations, that I so wanted not to go back. The thought of leaving behind something so beautiful, so special, brought shivers down my spine, especially when you know it won't be the same again. Ever! Its during those few final minutes, when you realize the importance and the gravity of the things that are so close to your heart, that you think your heart will sink. Its during that times, when you wish you had few more minutes, just to clench that thing tightly and never let go! Its during that time, when you pray stealthily and demand for some extra time and a few more. But the harsh reality is that it never happens.

You feel that trauma, that fire, burning inside you, biting you for quite a few days or weeks. The feeling of home-sickness takes a toll and everything seems dull. It took me quite a few days, as a matter of fact, few weeks to get out of that feeling, until everything went back to normal, until spending time with friends, back at hostel, was fun. Friends, the ones who are sarcastic, the ones who can be a real pain in the ass, the ones who are always there for your cover and guide you during the hard times, the ones who we enjoy being with, also constitute an important part of life. Friends, a home away from home. I have this awesome family back here, which I know, will stand by my side, no matter what!

The moment has finally arrived,its in the near vicinity. Its the time to head back home, to head back to your loved ones, to your bunch of crazy friends, back home, who also have been counting days, just like you, who are busy preparing crazy New year plans and to-do lists with you, From the time you keep your first step in your hometown, till you are fully satiated with the love and joy of togetherness. But something deep down is surfacing now and its bothering. I know how I've waited for these two long months to pass. But as the end is approaching, I feel like not going. Perhaps, I want to stay here, with my friends, enjoy life as it passes by, to the fullest. Perhaps, its the love and the never ending affection that is holding me back. Perhaps, the good times that we all have encountered together and laughing hard at the memories that followed, till our stomachs' hurt. Perhaps, its the home-bound feeling that has settled deep down and is not that strong now.

Perhaps, I have the pleasure of having two families, so closely knit to my heart that I just cant afford to leave one behind.!

NIGHT

The first word that comes to our mind when someone calls out night is ‘Dark’. Perceptions change from people to people, some consider it mystical, while some consider it merely a time to relax and sleep. And here I am writing this piece with nothing in mind, sitting on the rooftop, exploring various unseen, perhaps not, features of ’Night’.

Actually when there is nothing in your mind, you start to see and witness things differently, and that is perhaps the best part of a blank mind. There is something in this night that charms, attracts me. May it be its silent nature, its dark aura or its mystic connection which probably scares the shit out of me?

Beneath the shining stars, in the pale moonlight, enjoying the cool breeze, I am standing in one corner and thinking,” What should I write which is not written about ‘Night’?” In this cool breeze, I hear mild melodies of Wind-chimes and I witness tress swaying to and fro as if they are dancing to the tunes. Suddenly my focus shifts from ongoing thought to some Canines barking foolishly on an endless road. Suddenly, God knows from where, I think of the endless road and somehow it seems identical to my future. After all, my future is also a journey of dreams, desires which need to be fulfilled, where there are no companions, where I have to cross this ‘Endless’ road all by myself. As soon as I recall companions and night, all together at the same time, what I recall is the series of carefree night-outs, where roaming after midnight was like taking a tour of an isolated, vacant city, where, the feeling of fresh gush of wind through my hair was perhaps the best memory, where, I can savor the fun even with my eyes closed.

Suddenly my thoughts are interrupted by mild rains, and I throw a glance at my surroundings, noticing its dawn already and still I am so much engrossed in my thoughts. Leaving my thoughts aside, I enjoy the mild rain with its cologne i.e. the smell of fresh clay.

 Perhaps the ‘Night’ is over and so is my blog!