India's Daughter in Shackles!

There are two types of people in this world. Men and Women. Historically, men were associated with strength, courage, independence and leadership qualities, whereas, women were much more subtle, gentle and dependent type. But, the times are changing now and that too real fast.

The world is evolving. It is no more a fairyland or a happy land, where things run smoothly and are in order. There is this universal problem that almost every country is facing today, RAPE! Sexual assault, Molestation, Sexual abuse are the common terms with which this problem is addressed today. Every week we come across one such incident, where the girl is brutally assaulted, badly injured, raped and in some cases, almost beaten down to death!

I am a brother who looks after his sister, a friend who cares for his female friends, a son who would burn down the world for his mother, a grandson who loves his grandma more than anyone else, I would someday, be a husband who would protect his wife, I would someday, luckily be a father to the most cutest daughter in the world! The roles that we, men, play might be different, but ultimately, the main goal that these roles fulfill is looking out and protecting women and by protecting, I do not mean restricting them to move out of the house after 7 P.M. or restricting them from wearing those fashionably trendy clothes!

There are these bunch of illiterate, orthodox, conservative people, who think that women need to be in those four walls, deprived of their basic freedom! Moreover they are the same people, who think that clothes provoke Rape! I mean, come on, we are talking about people here, who would readily rape any female animal just because they don’t have any clothes on! We are talking about people here with brutal animal instincts and who are high on their sexual drive that if one fine day, their sisters or daughters come up with a one piece/gown, they would themselves rape them! Talking about the time restriction, we live in a world of globalization and privatization, where a large chunk of people, work in the night shift. So coercing women to stay inside after 7 P.M. is pure nonsense. Women have, just as we men have, got an undeniable right to be independent and enjoy life to the fullest! I mean you can always make sure that, women are with a safe and trusted company, during those late hours, but restricting and confining them in those four walls, taking away their freedom, is not The Solution!

The thought of confining my own daughter or sister is scary, crazy and absurd! It reflects our submissive attitude which in turn, will strengthen the inhuman motives of those rapists and eve teasers. Instead, let’s fight back. Fight back for the people we love, for the people we care, for the independent, fight back against submissive behavior, against orthodox attitude, against dependence.

Let’s fight back for Women. Let's inculcate a respectful attitude, which is just and morally strong, to respect women and see them as equals!

People are of two types. One, who supports and celebrates the independence of a Woman and would fight back for a woman as a whole and, second, a bunch of cowards, who would compromise on the independence and strong will of a woman!

It’s up to you to decide, which side are you on!

A Mile in those Bridal Shoes!

 

Another fine morning. Another great day. The Sun is out, spreading mild warmth and radiance all over, its shine so impeccable that even the dew drops on those nascent flowers imitate it. Soaking in, these positive vibes, I move over to check, what's happening around the world, with my friends, on Facebook. Nothing new! A friend enjoying snow, abroad, our PM Modi yet again managing to mesmerize the crowd, a friend getting married, is among a few prominent posts I see, until its too late for my class. But while getting ready for the class, while commuting to the college, while ongoing lectures, while taking lunch, I notice, a thought, perhaps a fragment, has managed to follow me all through this while. Its about me, about you and about all the Indian men, their so called manliness and most importantly, about our future/current brides.

Almost everyday we find out, that our friend or relative is tying the knot. But the more prominent thought that strikes the mind, is "Are we really ready for marriage, are we worthy for our brides, are we ready to commit fully and wholeheartedly to our better halves?"

Lets consider a bride's perspective for proper dissection of the above questions raised. She has dreamed of this day since her childhood. A day which will be her greatest and happiest day. She has all the plans ready for this glorious day. A day where she will not be less than a Princess, soon to elope with her Knight in Shining Armour! She would happily leave her home, PERMANENTLY, her identity, her near and dear ones just for him.(I have stayed in hostel for many years, so I know how it is like to leave home even for few months!)

But the real question is, are you(grooms) ready for marriage? A girl, leaving everything, her home, her parents, even her last name, behind, coming in and settling with you, is a great deed. It speaks volumes of her generosity and adjusting nature. Now, you are the only one, she will look upto, whenever she needs anything. Your family, your home, your friends and relatives are all new for her. She will take time to blend in. Give her that. So every time she makes oval rotis, or a little too bitter coffee, don't complain, instead adjust with her just like she is adjusting with you! Considering, how modern we call ourselves, respect her opinion pertaining to carry on with her job, because just as you feel the sense of independence and non-reliance on others, she might want to feel the same way and maybe would be planning to take that extra burden off your shoulders. Whenever there are little issues raised, take her stand, because you are the only one she relies on, wholly and fully. There will be cases where she might be wrong too, so instead of pouncing on her and ringing your victory bells, try and make her understand the points she missed out on.

Commitment is not just physical, but committing to stand with her, by her side in all her ups and downs, committing to be there when she needs it the most, committing to respect her opinion and her values, committing to listen her out whenever she wants you to, committing to help her with her flaws and weaknesses and help her overcoming it, committing to not change her and adjust to her and love her just the way she is, committing to not sulk over petty things and celebrate each and every inch of her, committing to be of a broader perspective and support her for all her future endeavors, committing to give her a hug whenever she feels down, committing to love her and  be her's, come what may!

Love is a beautiful thing. Don't lose it, revolving around petty issues and irrelevant stuff.  Hold her hand and let go off yourself. Cherish it with her and in the process cherish her too!